Isaac Witty

Witty delivers a stand-up comedy performance on Conan. His routine talks about the implications of losing one’s hair, being bad at handshakes, and being mistaken for being creepy.

I suck at handshakes, right, screw them up all the time and never know how I’ll screw it up. Recently I was at a bar and saw someone I knew at the bar. And I wanted to greet him. And the opposite end of the room. And I start walking over toward him, right. But as soon as I started walking, that’s when he saw me. And our eyes met, right? And I freaked out. And that’s when I—I pulled my hand out. Like, way too soon.