After I picked up the handgun, I brought it back to my room and felt a new sense of power. I was now armed.
He will buy two more guns in the following year, after he “began to seriously think about planning the Day of Retribution,” and will explain:
I needed to buy a third handgun, just in case one of them jams. I needed two working handguns at the same time, as that was how I planned to commit suicide; with two simultaneous shots to the head. I also needed to buy magazine clips and ammunition, as well as knives and carrying cases for my equipment.