‘Wanted quick death’

Teresa Cohen, 32, the wife of a TV executive who attended Hazelden Addiction Treatment Centre in Lindstrom, Minnesota in July at the same time as Williams says:

It was obvious there was something much, much deeper going on inside him. Even though he would goof around from time to time, just like he did on screen, there were many other occasions when his face reflected deep depression and unhappiness. He told me he was always pleased and proud to meet fans but felt under constant pressure wherever he went to ‘wear a happy mask’ and put on some kind of zany performance. He said he was weary to his bones and didn’t believe he could really relax for a moment. ‘I sometimes feel I could fall asleep standing up,’ he said. It was clear that physically, as well as mentally, he was in a terrible state.

He was in dread of dying while high on drugs or alcohol. Tears ran down his cheeks when he told me his greatest fear was relapsing and drinking himself into an early grave while his family watched helplessly.

He tells her:

When I go, I want it to be quick and I want to be clean and sober. I don’t want to die the slow, agonising death of an addict who makes everyone around him suffer too. I couldn’t stand the agony of checking-out that way.

Williams speaks to another patient, Teresa Cohen, in the rehab facility in Minnesota telling her

When I go, I want it to be quick and I want to be clean and sober. I don’t want to die the slow agonizing death of an addict who makes everyone around him suffer.