Morrissey gives a stand-up comedy performance on The Late Show with David Letterman. His routine talks about the struggles of being pale-skinned, getting back in shape, and making his own sandwiches.
I went to the deli the other day. I said, “Hey, can I get a pound of turkey?” And the lady at the deli said, “Aah, turkey like for a sandwich?” Is this your first day? So, I decided to have fun with her. I was like, “No, not turkey for a sandwich, I need turkey for a shower curtain, can you do that?”