Gabrielle Union interview
Union guests on Conan to promote her television show, Being Mary Jane. She also shares her obsession with big butts and exercise regimens of porn stars, and talks about trash-talking her fiancé, Dwyane Wade and other NBA players.
I’m bad, it’s awful. I make Richard Sherman seem like a Zen Buddhist. And Dwyane is not even immune. I become Richard Sherman, like it’s awful. I just lose my mind.
Interns skit
O’Brien spends some time with his show’s interns and gets to know what think of him. He asks them some questions about their complaints and duties on the show, and discovers that his assistant Sona sometimes uses his name to get the interns to do things for her.
Lauren Ash interview
Ash guests on Conan to promote her TV show, Super Fun Night. She also talks about her horrible dating experiences, including almost hooking up with a good-looking homeless person.
It’s a disaster. It’s a living nightmare. A guy comes over to my house. We have a nice date, comes over. Laughs into my mouth while he’s kissing me. Laughing into my mouth.
Jennifer Lawrence interview
Lawrence returns as a guest on Conan to promote American Hustle. She talks about her fantasy job and accidental stash of sex toys. She also tells O’Brien about her childhood nickname and bed-wetting as a teenager.
I was unstoppably and uncontrollably hyper, which of course, isn’t happening now. I’m not proud of it. But yeah, I couldn’t be stopped by medication or anything. It didn’t even make a dent. I was just unbelievably hyper and so they started calling me “nitroglycerine”, which was shortened to “Nitro”.
American Girl skit
O’Brien visits the American Girl Place in Los Angeles and learns all about the brand’s doll selections. He suggests back stories for some of the dolls as well as a unique “play pattern” involving historical character dolls. He wines and dines at the in-house café along with a personally selected doll, which he names Agnes.
Lyft skit
O’Brien tries out the mobile ride-sharing Lyft for the first time along with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. They catch a ride and drive around Hollywood, grabbing some snacks at 7-11 and buying takeout at Wendy’s.
BlizzCon 13 skit
O’Brien attends gaming convention, BlizzCon 13, as a guest commentator in the World of Warcraft tournament. He tries to learn how to play the game without much success and proceeds to cover a match along with two professional announcers.
Horse Race skit
O’Brien tries his hand at being a horse race announcer at the Santa Anita race track in California. With some instruction from renowned sportscaster Trevor Denman, he tries without much success to memorize all the colors and names of the participating horses. He ends up calling the race using unconventional terms and mentioning only two of the horses’ names, to the confusion of the audience.
So I had all these mnemonics set up for all of the horses and I had to completely forget everything. It’s like being told seconds before the SAT that it will be in German. So I was horrified.
PC horror game review
O’Brien reviews three games for the Halloween edition of his Clueless Gamer web series. Along with his senior digital producer, Aaron Bleyaert, he plays Slender, Amnesia, and Outlast. He gave a series of terrified reactions for each game as their ratings.
Slenderman, I don’t understand. It’s a walk in the woods, you see a rather physically fit – trim – guy, and then the lights go out. Amnesia – forgettable. Outlast is fantastic, love this game.
Anna Faris interview
Faris appears as a guest on Conan to promote her new sitcom, Moms. She also talks about her playtime habits as a child, including her make-believe Barbie brothel. She shares her childhood imaginary friend – a retainer named Alex.
I was a very, very dramatic child. But I wasn’t — I was also really shy. So you know how some like actors would be like oh, I was such a nerd and I didn’t have any friends? Well, I really didn’t have that many friends.
Breaking Bad episode
The cast of Breaking Bad visits Conan for a special episode dedicated to the TV show. After the show’s Breaking Bad-themed cold open, O’Brien interviews the entire cast in which Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul share a strange fan letter, Dean Norris talks about the meaning behind his newborn son’s middle name and Bob Odenkirk reminisces over his early days as a writer for Late Night.
The cast gives away fake blue meth to the studio audience, and the band Los Cuates de Sinaloa performs Negro y Azul (The Ballad of Heisenberg).
Louis C.K. interview
Louis C.K. returns to Conan and reminisces working with O’Brien as a writer at Late Night. He also talks about his experience flirting with Gwyneth Paltrow and his opinion on the cell phone culture.
You know, I think these things are toxic, especially for kids. It’s this thing. It’s bad. They don’t look at people when they talk to them. They don’t build the empathy. Kids are mean and it’s because they’re trying it out. They look at a kid and they go, you’re fat. Then they see the kid’s face scrunch up and say ooh, that doesn’t feel good. But when they write they’re fat, they go, hmm, that was fun.
Grand Theft Auto V review
O’Brien reviews the video game, Grand Theft Auto V on his web segment, Clueless Gamer. Joined by his Senior Digital Producer, Aaron Bleyaert, he attempts to accomplish missions, but repeatedly fails. He critiques the quality of the vehicles and questions why they have to save certain “unimportant” characters.
You know what, nice, this is sort of pro-Obamacare. Look at him. He went to the crappiest looking hospital in the world and he’s out.
Lizzy Caplan interview
Caplan promotes Masters of Sex. She also talks about her family’s sex-inspired cookbook and the banality of watching sex scenes at work. On people’s unique sexual techniques:
What I’ve learned is that everybody masturbates really differently. It’s sort of beautiful. One would assume, hey, everybody just does it the way I do it. Not the case. People come up with crazy stuff. And you know they’re just doing it the way that they normally do.
Diane Kruger interview
Kruger guests on Conan to promote The Bridge. She also chats about her not-so-romantic first date with boyfriend Joshua Jackson, her dislike of guns, and her fondness for reality show, Honey Boo Boo.
I watch Honey Boo Boo. It’s like watching Star Wars. I’m not an American, so that part of America is so foreign to me. They’re actually happier than any of us. They love each other.
Splinter Cell: Blacklist review
O’Brien reviews the video game, Splinter Cell: Blacklist on his web segment, Clueless Gamer. He is joined by hip-hop artist, J. Cole, who serves as his guide in playing the game. O’Brien criticizes the characters’ eyesight and speculates on the main characters’ relationship status. They play together and fail to complete their mission. Cole gives the game a “Tupac – Me Against The World” rating, while O’Brien gives it a “Kay Kyser – Jingle, Jangle, Jingle” rating.
We’ve established that Cole is very good at this game, I, a little less so. My game may improve if we play together. I’d say I have your back but I’m not good at turning around.
Sharon Stone interview
Stone guests on Conan and talks to O’Brien about her early days working as a pie girl at Bob’s Big Boy. She also shares a photo of herself with an Israeli fan, and recreates her famous leg cross in Basic Instinct.
I made the pies. when you go to Bob’s Big Boy, they had all these kind of fruit pies, and when you start, that’s the first job you get. I guess I just have that pie-making look.
Brian Cox interview
Professor Cox guests on Conan to discuss myths about the Large Hadron Collider and possible life in outer space. He also reveals to O’Brien that teleportation has already been done on small particles.
We’ve already done teleportation on a very small scale. You missed it. We’ve teleported, it’s been a prediction of quantum theory for decades, and we’ve done it with small particles, single particles. So the question is, can you do it with bigger things? We don’t know is the answer.
Brent Morin interview
Morin guests on Conan to promote his upcoming television show, Undateable. He also talks about his experiences dating rich girls and his crush on Bradley Cooper.
I’m not gay, but if he committed a crime and I witnessed it and he fled the scene and the cops said, “Could you describe him?” I’d be like, “6’3”, built like a God”.
Chris Kluwe interview
Kluwe guests on Conan and talks about his controversial letter to Maryland state assembly delegate Emmett Burns regarding same-sex marriage and gay rights. He also reveals that he is an avid world of Warcraft and table top miniatures player and that NFL players can be smart, too.
That’s the thing is that a lot of people have this assumption of NFL players as knuckle dragging troglodytes because you only hear about bad players. Those are the guys that make the news. There are a lot of smart players in the locker room. But you don’t hear about them because they take care of business and they go home. Who wants to report on that?
