Nothing Left to Fear performance
Slash performs Nothing Left to Fear on Conan to promote his first film production of the same title. He is joined by Alter Bridge’s Myles Kennedy on vocals and guitar.
Breaking Bad episode
The cast of Breaking Bad visits Conan for a special episode dedicated to the TV show. After the show’s Breaking Bad-themed cold open, O’Brien interviews the entire cast in which Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul share a strange fan letter, Dean Norris talks about the meaning behind his newborn son’s middle name and Bob Odenkirk reminisces over his early days as a writer for Late Night.
The cast gives away fake blue meth to the studio audience, and the band Los Cuates de Sinaloa performs Negro y Azul (The Ballad of Heisenberg).
Louis C.K. interview
Louis C.K. returns to Conan and reminisces working with O’Brien as a writer at Late Night. He also talks about his experience flirting with Gwyneth Paltrow and his opinion on the cell phone culture.
You know, I think these things are toxic, especially for kids. It’s this thing. It’s bad. They don’t look at people when they talk to them. They don’t build the empathy. Kids are mean and it’s because they’re trying it out. They look at a kid and they go, you’re fat. Then they see the kid’s face scrunch up and say ooh, that doesn’t feel good. But when they write they’re fat, they go, hmm, that was fun.
Grand Theft Auto V review
O’Brien reviews the video game, Grand Theft Auto V on his web segment, Clueless Gamer. Joined by his Senior Digital Producer, Aaron Bleyaert, he attempts to accomplish missions, but repeatedly fails. He critiques the quality of the vehicles and questions why they have to save certain “unimportant” characters.
You know what, nice, this is sort of pro-Obamacare. Look at him. He went to the crappiest looking hospital in the world and he’s out.
Lizzy Caplan interview
Caplan promotes Masters of Sex. She also talks about her family’s sex-inspired cookbook and the banality of watching sex scenes at work. On people’s unique sexual techniques:
What I’ve learned is that everybody masturbates really differently. It’s sort of beautiful. One would assume, hey, everybody just does it the way I do it. Not the case. People come up with crazy stuff. And you know they’re just doing it the way that they normally do.
Sammy Obeid stand-up
Obeid performs stand-up comedy on Conan. His routine talks about being a mixed race American, gay rights and analogies that he uses to explain history and racism.
Actually, I used to teach American history to kids from the inner city. So I had to come up with analogies—gangster analogies—to relate the material. Like we were doing American history of the 1900’s. I was like the 1900’s. You got your French homie and your British homie. A German dude starts picking on your homies. You’re like “what the hell?” So, you knock the German dude out and the whole party’s like, “damn.”
Diane Kruger interview
Kruger guests on Conan to promote The Bridge. She also chats about her not-so-romantic first date with boyfriend Joshua Jackson, her dislike of guns, and her fondness for reality show, Honey Boo Boo.
I watch Honey Boo Boo. It’s like watching Star Wars. I’m not an American, so that part of America is so foreign to me. They’re actually happier than any of us. They love each other.
Splinter Cell: Blacklist review
O’Brien reviews the video game, Splinter Cell: Blacklist on his web segment, Clueless Gamer. He is joined by hip-hop artist, J. Cole, who serves as his guide in playing the game. O’Brien criticizes the characters’ eyesight and speculates on the main characters’ relationship status. They play together and fail to complete their mission. Cole gives the game a “Tupac – Me Against The World” rating, while O’Brien gives it a “Kay Kyser – Jingle, Jangle, Jingle” rating.
We’ve established that Cole is very good at this game, I, a little less so. My game may improve if we play together. I’d say I have your back but I’m not good at turning around.
Tony Deyo stand-up
Deyo gives a stand-up comedy performance on Conan. His routine talks about being a former school teacher, his opinion on Apple’s Genius Bars, and keeping the romance alive in married life.
I have been married a while. I have a friend in a new relationship, though. I find that to be quite amusing. Just the other day she told me when she and her boyfriend make love, time stands still. I feel bad breaking the news to her that if they start making love at 9:25 and then when it’s all done she looks at the clock and it’s — still 9:25, Johnny endurance did not bend the space time continuum.
Rory Scovel stand-up
Scovel returns as a stand-up comic on Conan. His routine is accompanied by piano music, and talks about marijuana laws in California, dealing with growing older, and the odd locations of grocery store bathrooms.
They’re not in the corners leek they’re supposed to be. You have a public restroom, put them in the corners, we’ll find them. Grocery stores are like, no, we’re going to put them beyond these double doors that you don’t know if you’re allowed to go beyond or not. The doors — doors don’t say “employees only”, so the mystery — I don’t know, can I go back there? You have to go up to some 16-year-old kid who is restocking the soup and ask for permission to use the bathroom as an adult.
Kurt Braunohler stand-up
Braunohler gives a stand-up comedy performance on Conan. He talks about Los Angeles radio songs, strange things you can do to keep things exciting, and being breastfed until the age of five.
I like to do stupid things to strangers because I think it helps make the world a better place. So, guys, here’s three fun things you can do today to make the world a better place. One, next time you fart just yell, “nothing but net!” Confusing and fun to say.
Crooked Smile performance
Cole performs the song Crooked Smile on Conan to promote his latest album, Born Sinner, and his upcoming North American tour.
Sharon Stone interview
Stone guests on Conan and talks to O’Brien about her early days working as a pie girl at Bob’s Big Boy. She also shares a photo of herself with an Israeli fan, and recreates her famous leg cross in Basic Instinct.
I made the pies. when you go to Bob’s Big Boy, they had all these kind of fruit pies, and when you start, that’s the first job you get. I guess I just have that pie-making look.
Julian McCullough stand-up
McCullough gives a stand-up comedy performance on Conan. He talks about living in New York’s Chinatown, moving to Los Angeles and having difficulty finding friends there, as well as the reason Jeopardy is superior to all other television show.
So you could be smart enough to get on Jeopardy, not need the money at all, ring in first after every single clue no matter what, and just share your opinions with America, and nobody can stop you.
Better Days performance
Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros returns to Conan and gives a live performance of Better Days, a song from their new self-titled album.
Dwayne Perkins stand-up
Perkins appears as a stand-up comic on Conan. He talks about misguided actions on Facebook, and the devolution of video games.
You want to tell people things. I get it. But surprises me is why do people care? That’s what changed here. It’s our fault. We collectively encourage this behavior. You don’t believe me. Go home tonight, type anything on your page. Type I like almonds and eight other people will like it. You understand? “I like almonds too.” “Good call on the almonds.” “He’s right about that.”
Chocolate performance
The 1975 perform Chocolate during the Conan show to promote their album The 1975.
Brian Cox interview
Professor Cox guests on Conan to discuss myths about the Large Hadron Collider and possible life in outer space. He also reveals to O’Brien that teleportation has already been done on small particles.
We’ve already done teleportation on a very small scale. You missed it. We’ve teleported, it’s been a prediction of quantum theory for decades, and we’ve done it with small particles, single particles. So the question is, can you do it with bigger things? We don’t know is the answer.
Brent Morin interview
Morin guests on Conan to promote his upcoming television show, Undateable. He also talks about his experiences dating rich girls and his crush on Bradley Cooper.
I’m not gay, but if he committed a crime and I witnessed it and he fled the scene and the cops said, “Could you describe him?” I’d be like, “6’3”, built like a God”.
Brent Morin stand-up
Morin performs stand-up comedy on Conan. His routine talks about dealing with beautiful women and his struggles to act super cool around them.
I like women that are out of my league. You women, are mean, very mean, it’s hard to hit on you. Because women will turn you down right away and say things you don’t need to know about yourself. Just say “no.”
