McGregor talks to O’Brien, with O’Brien referencing his appearance on the show two year’s before, where McGregor said he wanted to fight Mayweather for the first time.
COB: Conor, you first predicted this fight two years ago on this show. Let’s take a look…What if you were in the ring with Floyd Mayweather?
CMG: If your asking if I’d like to fight Floyd, who wouldn’t like to dance around the ring for $180 million? If we were to get it on, I would most certainly dismantle him.
In the present day:
CMG: There will be no dancing in there. I’m going to go straight forward, and put him away…inside four rounds!…
Responding to Mayweather saying he is going to go down on his face or his back:
I’m going down…down in the history books.
Dawson appears on Conan and talks about how her mom once trained her to use pepper spray by using it on her, and that New Yorkers aren’t as tough as they used to be.
Now people think it’s so safe in New York that they are walking around with ear-buds at four o’clock in the morning and I kind of feel like hitting them…I kind of feel like robbing them.
Bloom appears as a guest on Conan to promote his latest film, The Hobbit. He also talks about having Sir Ian McKellen as a roommate, his experience stripping down in Zulu, and creating a porno film involving elves and Middle Earth.
The truth is there won’t be because J.R. Tolkien has the rights. The estate sold the rights for both The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings, but nothing else. I was doing press with Evangeline Lilly and Lee Pace recently. We both play elves and we could do an elven spinoff. Get some iphones and some GoPros and annihilate middle earth, Tantric sex, down and dirty. Let’s go with a bit of elven love and violence.
Dawson returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest film, Top Five. She also talks about making out with Jenny Slate in a New York Times video, and being inspired by James Franco to post “selfies” on social media.
I remember when they asked me to do it, I don’t know if that’s weird to say, but there was another actress they were talking about doing it with. Sure, that would be great. They changed and said it would be Jenny. Awesome, I have never met her before. She is hilarious and awesome and beautiful and cool and smart. So we got there, we said hello, nice to meet you like it was kind of great. It was kind of awesome.
Romjin returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest television show, Skin Wars. She also talks about her experiences with body painting, and challenges O’Brien to try wearing only body paint on one of his shows.
It’s funny, once you’re painted, go with me on this, you don’t feel nude. You actually do feel very covered up. You can tell from people’s body language that they don’t feel naked.
Patrick appears as a guest on Conan and talks about being in a motorcycle club, and not a “bike gang”. He also shares a near-death experience where he found himself in the middle of a desert after his rear tire blows out. He also talks about his audition for Terminator 2, in which he did an icy and piercing glare.
These are the things you think about when all of a sudden you realize you could have died. I’m out here and you feel like the desert is going to swallow you up and take you in. I take out my knife and starting to cut the tire off the rim. I realize I’m riding the rim right on in.
Vergara returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest jewelry line. She gives O’Brien a bracelet from the collection, to give to his wife. She also talks about her holiday spending habits and watching her boyfriend, Joe Mangianello, prepare for his stripper role in Magic Mike.
It was fun to see him prepare for Magic Mike. It was, you know, a little bit like surprising because I didn’t know who — that he could dance like that. But it was a lot of fun. He did a lot of crazy things in the movie. I think he even had an accident.
Holmes returns as a guest on Conan and talks about his Thanksgiving holiday with his parents in Boston. He also shares his experiences being a celebrity, including signing a Nickelback CD for a fan.
I’m a new vegan. I had to explain that to my working class Boston parents. They didn’t — they didn’t know what that meant. They didn’t even know how to say it. My father was like “Peter, you’re a vegan!” Why is that? Vegan, dad! Vegan, like an alien species. What does that mean? What does it mean? I go, it just means you don’t eat animal products. And he goes so what do you eat all day, frigging yogurt?
Lilly returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest film, Ant-Man. She also expresses her admiration for Archie Comics’ Betty and Veronica’s breasts. She also talks about her fetish for ears and proceeds to touch O’Brien and Richter’s lobes.
I was obsessed with the shape of their breasts. I would draw them. I would try to trace them. I was fanatical about the perfection of their tear drop shape of their perfect breasts.
Aniston returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest film, Horrible Bosses 2. She also talks about a deleted sex scene on the film, as well as some of the sexy jewelry that she chose for her role.
It was an active choice. It was one of those things where they laid out the jewelry and I just gravitated towards that beautiful piece of jewelry. And I put it on. I was like “This is unique and cool.” So then I just kept trying on other bits of her wardrobe. I had kept it. And “great, you chose the [Bleep] ring!”
Burr returns as a guest on Conan and shares his opinions about Thanksgiving and Black Friday. He also talks about his dislike for charity causes in sports and his penchant for Black and White stand-up comedy shows.
I like the holidays. Thanksgiving is my favorite because you get to eat in that type of thing. I don’t like black Friday type of stuff. Freaks me out. Makes me sad for Americans, watching them get trampled. Why would you do that to yourself? Why wouldn’t just admit you can’t afford it at regular prices.
Eichner returns as a guest on Conan and talks about his opinions on possible Oscar Award nominees. He also discusses his admiration for Taylor Swift and performs an original song inspired by Swift’s songwriting.
Are there no jokes in outer space? Not a single joke. I wanted a laugh. It’s three, four hours long. And people say, you can’t combine sci-fi and comedy. Five words — “Honey, I Shrunk The Kids.? OK?
Gordon-Levitt returns as a guest on Conan and talks about the “Best Performance with a Fake Nose” award he received from a website. He also tries out a bunch of fake noses with O’Brien and watches an old clip of his appearance in Jeopardy.
Again, trying to play a young Bruce Willis and look at yourself in the mirror doing lines, don’t know if I’m selling this. I don’t know if anyone will buy the “you grow up to be Bruce Willis”. Then once I put on that face and put in the contact lenses. It was a nose and lips, eyebrows, ears. All subtle but a lot of stuff and then I’m like “OK, yeah, this isn’t me anymore”.
Lillard appears on Conan and talks about the growing up playing basketball without a hoop, his famous “Dame-face”, and why he chose the number 0 for his jersey. He also demonstrates his four-bar rapping skills.
Well, it started off on a tree. There was a tree in front of my grandmother’s house. I would shoot over the tree branch. That was my hoop. The grandfather cut down the tree so I ended up nailing a milk carton to a telephone pole. It’s round, you can’t shoot off the back bound. It helped me learn how to shoot over the rim better.
Dennings returns as a guest on Conan to promote the latest season of 2 Broke Girls. She also talks about her idyllic childhood in the woods and being a somber goth as a child.
It kind of was if you want to break it down. We lived on top of a hill in a place called Bryn Mawr, which is now more built up. It was in the woods on a hill, there were deer. There were no other neighbors. There was weather.
Harris appears as a guest on Conan to promote his latest film, Gone Girl and his book, Choose Your Own Autobiography. He also talks about his sex scenes on film and on stage, and shares some childhood memories, including kissing two girls at the same time.
It’s random stories of things I have done. I have these crazy chapters from Doogie Howser, to Doctor Horrible, to Barney Stinson to opening the Tony’s, to having babies, and making out with dudes.
Tenacious D appears as a guest on Conan to promote their upcoming music festival, Festival Supreme. They describe festival’s Halloween-inspired rides and show some of the costumed characters at the event.
Seriously, anyone who’s watching us right now in Tallahassee or Timbuktu, wherever you are, I urge you to get a plane ticket and come.
Cenac appears as a guest on Conan to promote his upcoming comedy tour. He also talks about having a show at the same time as Dave Chappelle’s show, and meeting O’Brien at a luxury car show.
You were like “hey, stranger, take a photo of me” and then you were like “let’s get a photo of the two of us together”. So we took a photo and we didn’t really know each other. Like “hey, look at this fancy car that neither of us own”.
Milioti appears as a guest on Conan to promote her television show, A to Z. She also talks about almost getting run over by a bus with her face on it, and being bullied n school for her unique haircut and unusual retorts.
I had gone to a summer camp and the cool girl at summer camp had a buzz cut. Then I went home to New Jersey and I wanted one and my mom took me to a salon and they were like, she wants to what? And they did it. And I showed up to middle school like that. What’s up, guys? Ready to hang. And they were not nice.
Carvey returns as a guest on Conan and gives a variety of celebrity impersonations, including Liam Neeson, as well as Presidents Bush, Clinton, and Obama. He also improvises a song about the flugelbone in Neil Young’s voice, and talks about being friends with President George W. Bush.
He’s my buddy. It’s very interesting going on — by the way, this is an ISIS-free zone. If you are ISIS, please exit. It’s interesting to think of the dichotomy. Because Obama clearly was rough on him when we had to go back. He just wasn’t very enthusiastic. He’s up there going, we’re going to — we’re going to head back with our strategic partners, coalition, forces.
Perry appears as a guest on Conan and talks about some difficult moments during his time off from Aerosmith, including selling his rare 1959 Les Paul, which ends up in the hands of his good friend, Slash.
I knew it was getting in the way of our friendship. I said “I will never ask you about it again, man. If you ever want to sell it back, just give me a call, whatever but I won’t bug you about it”. And at my 50th birthday, Cheap Trick was playing. They came in to play. And I sat in with them and in the middle of the set my guitar tech walks up and hands me this guitar. And it was the guitar and Slash gave it to me.
Wilson appears as a guest on Conan to promote her television show, Marry Me. She also talks about working with her producer-husband and inviting Oprah to major events in her life.
I don’t have an address for her. I address it to the universe. And I assume she’s gotten — she’s very busy.
Anderson returns as a guest on Conan to promote his television show, Blackish. He also talks about offering his crotch as a tee at a charity event, turning partially vegan, and his mother’s use of Vagisil for first-aid treatment.
She’s always been little left of center. Growing up in my house, you know, most people get sick, their mother gives them Robitussin, you know, aspirin. My — we got cuts and bruises, my mother would give us Vagisil.
Lovitz appears as a guest on Conan to promote his television shows, Mr. Box Office and Sing Your Face Off. He also talks about impersonating famous singers does an impromptu performance of La Donna e Mobile. He also shares his experiences as a hospital orderly during his pre-show business days.
First of all, the orderly has no training but they’re with the patient eight hours a day. These women in their 60’s after three days in the hospital they start going senile I’ll and they think I’m the doctor. They’re going “Dr. Jon”, Dr. Jon.” One lady, she goes — I just want to see if you’re here. She’s screaming for me. She had a thing that hung down like this. One day I said, what happened to your finger? She’s like, what happened to your face?
Hoult returns as a guest on Conan to promote his latest movie, Young Ones. He also talks about the extremely dangerous stunts he had to do on the film, exchanging pranks with X-Men co-star James McAvoy, and engaging in a full-on BB gun war with him.
Yeah, that came to an end because people got shot in the face and welts would pop up and bleed and it was a 3-D movie and you could see them clearly even with makeup so we had to stop.
Handler and Conan discuss Handler getting urinated on on Conan.
It did happen and I’m still here.
Miller appears as a guest on Conan to promote his latest movie, Big Hero 6. He also shares his physically painful marriage proposal and his strange wish to have an elbow-kissing superpower.
I want to be able to kiss my own elbows. Because you could make so much money. You know, you bet people, you think I can kiss my own elbow? They say no. $100, you do it, then you skip town, go to the next town. Go to the morning show, make another $100.
Shepard appears once again as a guest on Conan to talk about his latest film, This Is Where I Leave You. He describes his lack of a butt and shares how his wife, Kristen Bell helped him shave his butt-crack in preparation for his nude scene.
My fear – my deep, deep fear would look like there was like a werewolf trying to escape my butt-crack.
Luddington returns as a guest on Conan to talk about her overly critical father, her horrific film audition, and the poor British reception of her Lifetime movie, William and Kate.
We don’t have Lifetime in England, so they don’t understand that Lifetime movies are cheesy and a guilty pleasure. In England, I was screwed with the reviews before it came out and they were like “What?” – including my family.
Madrigal and Conan discuss airplane rules on Conan.
I’m happy I didn’t end up on a No Fly list.
Peretti appears on the guest on Conan to promote her television show, Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She also talks about her childhood crush on co-star Andy Samberg, and encountering sweet but very critical old ladies who have watched her show.
Life has changed completely. It’s a crazy whirlwind. I was on a flight and there was a sweet old lady in front of me and she turned around her whole head, craning around. She turned around to me and she was so sweet and she was like, “You’re that girl!” And I was like, “Yeah, probably”, you know, and she was like “I hate your show!”
Hader returns as a guest on Conan to promote his latest movie, Skeleton Twins. He also impersonates some of his former SNL castmates, creates an Arnold Schwarzenegger baby character, and talks about his recent peanut allergic reaction.
This happened a couple of times to me but not in New York, and in the New York E.R. guy was like, he was a doctor. And he goes “Has this happened to you before?” And I go “Yeah.” And he goes “Do you have an epipen?” I go “No.” He goes “You’re a f-ing idiot.”
Wilson appears as a guest on Conan to promote his latest film, Skeleton Twins. He also talks about working with Bob Dylan and Jeff Bridges, getting infatuated with his female movie co-stars, and growing up with older brothers.
It wasn’t like — you know, like the American Indian where wisdom is passed down through the ages. Like, it was like a great deal of misinformation. Like never — don’t ever let them know if you like them. Just, whatever you do, just be cool. Don’t laugh at their jokes. Don’t with kind. Whatever you do, don’t be kind.
Harrison appears as a guest on Conan to talk about his father’s week-long tribute on the show. He shares the process of putting together the event, and using O’Brien’s name to get out of a traffic violation.
I discussed with the police officer, he didn’t know, I didn’t have my I.D., I’m like if you need proof of who I am, I’ll be on Conan on Wednesday. We’re doing this George Harrison week and my name is Harrison, nice to meet you. Sorry. I didn’t make any mistakes driving, I was just driving. He walked off and came back and goes, “Well, I’m a huge Conan O’Brien fan. And you guys, you know, go along on your business.”
Barinholtz returns as a guest on Conan and talks about football, Matthew McConaughey’s Superbowl ad, and the differences between Cubs and Sox fans in Chicago.
My theory is that he did not know that it was a commercial. He was driving around with his buddies and he just said those words. He’s driving with his friends and he’s like, “Life’s a road and you got to drive it.” His friends took out an iPhone and just started filming.
Kirsten Dunst returns as a guest on Conan to promote her latest film, The Two Faces of January. She also talks about wanting to star in an Adam Sandler movie, wearing delicate vintage costumes in films, and being disgusted by her first kiss with Brad Pitt.
Although I thought it was disgusting. I was 11. It would have been weird if I was like, this is amazing, I’m kissing Brad Pitt. Then people would think I was a little bit off.
Deschanel returns as a guest on Conan and talks about having Prince on the set of New Girl and his prowess in almost everything he does. O’Brien also shows her a montage of various male celebrities with her eyes Photoshopped on their faces.
He’s good at everything. Crazy. It’s amazing at basketball and very athletic. He cooks things. I don’t know.
Meyer returns as a guest on Conan and talks about his show, Franklin & Dash. He tells O’Brien how he had to punch Mike Tyson on the show, as well as his teenage years sleeping in a homemade coffin.
Here’s the thing, my dad who named me Breckin was always looking for projects for us to do and I said I want to get a coffin. And he’s like I won’t let you buy a coffin. That’s a good parent. But we can build one. And by the way, I’m not kidding. My dad, he could raise a barn. It was nice.
Simon appears as a guest on Conan to celebrate the show’s week-long tribute to George Harrison. He talks about his friendship with Harrison, performing with him on Saturday Night Live in 1976, Harrison’s love of ukuleles, and messing with Ringo Starr.
He was an extraordinary guy, as everybody — everybody knows that. Amazing person, not just as a musician, but really very, very open, kind, not — you know, just a certain percentage of him Beatles, and the rest just regular, interested in life, interested in the world, interested in the mind. Really a pleasure to hang out with him.
Azaria appears as a guest on Conan to promote his television series, Ray Donovan. He also talks about working on sex scenes on the show, dealing with people who request for his Simpsons voices, and being mistaken for “Frank Azaria” despite his fame.
It happens in New York mostly, once a week. Maybe every two weeks if I’m lucky. A lot of people on the streets of New York, hey, Frank, how are you doing? I don’t know. Do these people also answer the phone, “Frello?”
Dr. Berman and Conan discuss the O spot on Conan.
Hopefully it is long enough.
Pedrad appears on Conan as a guest and talks about her famous Kim Kardashian impression on Saturday Night Live, her unaired Aziz Ansari impression skit and her strong childhood crush on O’Brien.
I had a debilitating crush on you in high school. I was unreasonable, though. I was very young, but I had this very intense romantic feelings for you. I had like a “vision board” in my bedroom. You know what that is? It’s like pictures of things you like and/or want, and mine was Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Claire Danes, Destiny’s Child and then you.
Olyphant returns as a guest on Conan wearing a tennis shirt, shorts, and flip-flops. He talks about his upcoming movie, This is Where I Leave You and his technique to not feeling intimidated acting around big celebrities.
This is my trick. They don’t teach this in Kung Fu. I came up with this on my own. You just come up with the least intimidating — whatever they got on their resume. And you just hold that and then it seems like such a big deal when you’re working opposite them. Bateman is amazing and all of these things but if I just say oh, yeah, from Mr. Belvedere. Yeah. I really enjoyed that show.
Nayyar and Conan discuss Bollywood Musicals on Conan.
You would be great in Bollywood, Bollywood loves white people.
Bibb appears as a guest on Conan to promote her latest movie, No Good Deed. She also tells O’Brien about her experience at the Burning Man Festival and her dislike for scary movies.
When I was I think like 4 or 5 maybe, my sister Bev told my mom let’s go see this family movie, Amityville Horror. So my mother took me and my two sisters to see Amityville Horror. I was sitting in the second row on this side and all I remember is blue gunk coming out. I didn’t sleep in my bed for a year. For a year!
Conan and Green discuss weather or not Green picked his nose on live TV on Conan.
It’s really hard to argue.
Hodgman appears as a guest on Conan and talks about his various topics including his former belief in the Mayan apocalypse and his recent discovery of marijuana and electronic inhalers. He also shares his experience being a traffic counter as a college student and explains why he throws his socks at the audience during his stand-up comedy set.
I take my shoes off and then I throw my socks into the audience, and people say, is that to be more comfortable? I don’t know. I don’t care about my comfort. All I care is that you people are uncomfortable. I find it’s better to perform for an audience that is profoundly disturbed. Now that I’m doing stand-up comedy, I want to establish dominance and I also want to spread my D.N.A. as far as possible.
Faris and Conan discuss how she torments her mother with postcards on Conan.
I can sense that she is annoyed and I delight in that.
DeVine returns as a guest on Conan to promote his latest film The Intern. He also talks about working with co-star Robert DeNiro and his unsuccessful attempts at making him laugh. He also shares his early experiences with marijuana and his rejected audition for Saturday Night Live.
De Niro is the only impression I can kind of do and you guys are like “you can’t.” Not very good at that. I auditioned and I didn’t really know you had to do impressions, even though that’s a thing you absolutely have to do. So I did jack Nicholson. I was like, “I’m jack Nicholson”. That was like my move.
Haney and Conan discuss how his career took off on Conan.
The cherry on top.