Chad Daniels stand-up
Daniels returns as a stand-up comic on Conan. His routine talks about being married to a highly-accomplished wife, and raising a teenage son based on his own childhood experiences.
You know what I would do without my wife? I would raise my kids to be at least this old. Because I have done it. I’ve gotten a human being to here! That’s why it never made sense for people who say, ‘I could never have a kid. I can’t keep a plant alive!’ You’re not a plant. You don’t have to know how photosynthesis works to keep a child alive.
Show Me performance
Kid Ink performs his single Show Me on Conan to promote his debut album My Own Lane. He is joined onstage by Eric Bellinger, DJ Tech and DJ Mustard.
Miss Jackson performance
Panic! At The Disco gives a live performance of their single Miss Jackson on Conan to promote their fourth studio album Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! as well as their upcoming North American tour.
Jennifer Lawrence interview
Lawrence returns as a guest on Conan to promote American Hustle. She talks about her fantasy job and accidental stash of sex toys. She also tells O’Brien about her childhood nickname and bed-wetting as a teenager.
I was unstoppably and uncontrollably hyper, which of course, isn’t happening now. I’m not proud of it. But yeah, I couldn’t be stopped by medication or anything. It didn’t even make a dent. I was just unbelievably hyper and so they started calling me “nitroglycerine”, which was shortened to “Nitro”.
American Girl skit
O’Brien visits the American Girl Place in Los Angeles and learns all about the brand’s doll selections. He suggests back stories for some of the dolls as well as a unique “play pattern” involving historical character dolls. He wines and dines at the in-house café along with a personally selected doll, which he names Agnes.
O Come, O Come Emmanuel performance
Bad Religion performs O Come, O Come Emmanuel, a song from their latest album, Christmas Songs.
Tom Papa stand-up
Papa gives a stand-up comedy performance on Conan. His routine talks about how cool smoking is, healthy living, and his dislike for being part of a clique.
If you’re at a party with a group of people, you run out of things to do. What do the smokers do? They go for a smoke, and they get to leave. I can’t leave. I got to sit there and take it.
Lyft skit
O’Brien tries out the mobile ride-sharing Lyft for the first time along with Kevin Hart and Ice Cube. They catch a ride and drive around Hollywood, grabbing some snacks at 7-11 and buying takeout at Wendy’s.
Daniel Sloss stand-up
Sloss appears on Conan to give a stand-up comedy performance. His routine talks about dealing with parents, the difference between losing a child and losing an iPhone, and his problems with being in a romantic relationship.
I’m a terrible boyfriend. You always have to do things when you’re in a relationship – for example, telling a girl that she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. I never told my ex-girlfriend that she was the most beautiful girl in the world and that was for personal reasons, because she wasn’t.
Amy performance
Goodie Mob gives a live performance of Amy on Conan, to promote their latest album, Age Against the Machine.
BlizzCon 13 skit
O’Brien attends gaming convention, BlizzCon 13, as a guest commentator in the World of Warcraft tournament. He tries to learn how to play the game without much success and proceeds to cover a match along with two professional announcers.
Rescue performance
Yuna returns to the Conan stage to perform Rescue, a song from her latest album, Nocturnal.
Let Me Go performance
Lavigne gives a live performance of Let Me Go, a track off her self-titled album.
Horse Race skit
O’Brien tries his hand at being a horse race announcer at the Santa Anita race track in California. With some instruction from renowned sportscaster Trevor Denman, he tries without much success to memorize all the colors and names of the participating horses. He ends up calling the race using unconventional terms and mentioning only two of the horses’ names, to the confusion of the audience.
So I had all these mnemonics set up for all of the horses and I had to completely forget everything. It’s like being told seconds before the SAT that it will be in German. So I was horrified.
Adam Yenser stand-up
Yenser appears as a stand-up comic on Conan. He talks about explaining American culture to tourists, the comparison between food and sex, and the unappetizing names of food items at fast food chains.
See here in America, we have so much clean, drinkable water that sometimes we just use the extra to decorate. And then what we do is we take our spare change, which is the extra money we have left over after buying everything we could possibly want. And we just throw it in the fountain and make a wish for a better life.
The Vampyre of Time and Memory performance
Queens of the Stone Age return to Conan to perform The Vampyre of Time and Memory, a track from their album …Like Clockwork. The band members wear suits and vocalist Josh Homme plays on a red piano.
PC horror game review
O’Brien reviews three games for the Halloween edition of his Clueless Gamer web series. Along with his senior digital producer, Aaron Bleyaert, he plays Slender, Amnesia, and Outlast. He gave a series of terrified reactions for each game as their ratings.
Slenderman, I don’t understand. It’s a walk in the woods, you see a rather physically fit – trim – guy, and then the lights go out. Amnesia – forgettable. Outlast is fantastic, love this game.
Anna Faris interview
Faris appears as a guest on Conan to promote her new sitcom, Moms. She also talks about her playtime habits as a child, including her make-believe Barbie brothel. She shares her childhood imaginary friend – a retainer named Alex.
I was a very, very dramatic child. But I wasn’t — I was also really shy. So you know how some like actors would be like oh, I was such a nerd and I didn’t have any friends? Well, I really didn’t have that many friends.
Aparna Nancherla stand-up
Nancherla appears as a stand-up comic on Conan. She talks about dealing with her white friends, people who sneeze too much, and a new game she invented.
Sometimes, I’ll make a mistake though, when one of my white friends apologizes to me, I’ll assume it’s for imperialism on some level. I know, it’s totally my issue, but it does lead to some weird situations.
Erin Foley stand-up
Foley returns as a stand-up comic on Conan. Her routine talks about healthy living in California, discovering that she is gluten-intolerant, and transitioning into a gluten-free lifestyle.
There’s a magazine they give you when you leave the doctor’s office to help you transition into a gluten-free lifestyle. The magazine is called Living Without. It’s a thin magazine, and it comes with a razor blade. The worst news ever.
