Booby traps house

The new owners of the property find Houser has booby-trapped the house: the gas starter tube in the fireplace is twisted out and ignited, the logs removed. The new owners of the property divulge that it was an attempt at arson. No charges result. He was hoping the house would catch on fire. That’s what […]

John Russell Houser kills self age 59

After firing 13 rounds, Houser leaves the theater through a side door and heads toward his car, a 1995 Lincoln. On seeing a police cruiser arrive in the parking lot he reloads his handgun, re-enters the theater and fires three more rounds, then he fatally shoots himself in the head.

Claims no resistance from Constand

Cosby claims in his deposition that the intercourse between himself and Constand was not resisted and that he took her lack of resistance as consent for the intercourse. I don’t hear her say anything. And I don’t feel her say anything, and so I continue and I go into the area that is somewhere between permission and […]

Dies in attack

Abdulazeez dies of unknown causes during the attack. Officials confirm his death, but refuse to provide any other details at this point in time. The local law enforcement had a great response and they were able to neutralise the threat.

Pao apologizes

Pao makes an announcement as to how she plans on fixing her mistakes on Reddit. We screwed up. Not just on July 2, but also over the past several years. We haven’t communicated well, and we have surprised moderators and the community with big changes. We have apologized and made promises to you, the moderators […]

Parents speak on SF policy

Steinle’s parents say that while they respect the immigration sanctuary laws of SF, their daughter wouldn’t have been killed by Sanchez if ICE had been complied with. We’re here for kate and I think I can speak for my wife when I say its a non issue…It would have been so much better if he were gone […]

Will ‘triage’ AMA requests

Ohanian makes an announcement in regards to Taylor’s removal. We don’t talk about specific employees, but I do want you to know that I’m here to triage AMA requests in the interim. All AMA inquiries go to [email protected] where we have a team in place…I posted this on [a mod sub] but I’m reposting here: We […]

Subreddits go private

In a response to the earlier removal of Taylor, over 2/5s of the default subreddits that comprise the bulk of user page views make themselves private. Several hundred normal subreddits also take themselves down in protest. Some smaller subreddits and Reddit’s competition, Voat, have seen a boost in traffic as a result. A moderator from /r/pics: Most people are […]

Removes flags

Walmart removes any and all items made from or containing depictions of the Confederate flag. They apologise for the inclusion of such products in their range. We never want to offend anyone with the products that we offer. We have taken steps to remove all items promoting the confederate flag from our assortment, whether in […]

Software labels black people as ‘gorillas’

Google’s automatic image recognition software picks up photographs of two black friends, and marks them as gorillas. The owner of the phone tweets about the occurrence. What kind of sample image data you collected that would result in this son? Google Photos, y’all f-cked up. My friend’s not a gorilla.

Photo mislabelling apology

Google apologises for its photo recognition software mislabelling a black couple as being “gorillas”. We’re appalled and genuinely sorry that this happened, we are taking immediate action to prevent this type of result from appearing. There is still clearly a lot of work to do with automatic image labelling, and we’re looking at how we can prevent these types […]

Gabriel on reunion, Hall of Fame induction

Gabriel is interviewed by Rolling Stone, about the possibility of a future Genesis reunion tour: I never say never. It really didn’t happen last time. I think there’s a small chance, but I don’t think it’s very high. Gabriel also discusses the recent induction of Genesis to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Getting awards is […]

Netherlands legalises gay marriage

Netherlands is the first country in the world to officially declare that its citizens are allowed to get married to whomever they desire. We are always a bit ahead of other countries. We had those discussions years before other countries even started.

Parents divorce

After splitting up in June, 1990, Roof’s parents finalize their divorce due to financial issues. Judge: The Court inquired as to the possibility of reconciliation between the parties, but concluded that such was not possible.

Father beats wife

According to an affidavit filed by Mann, Roof’s father beat her. My whole world fell apart when Benn and I got into an argument. Benn violently pushed me to the ground and hit me in the back of my head…I was so scared of him that I knew I had to get out of this […]

Victim’s family tributes

Coleman-Singleton’s son, Christopher speaks about his mother and the other victims of Roof. It’s funny how I always told you that you went to church too much. You would laugh it off and say, ‘Boy you can never have too much of the Lord.’ You were a better mother than I could ever have asked […]

Mary Shelley dies age 53

Shelley dies of a cancerous brain tumor in Chester Square, United Kingdom. She has slowly been growing more and more lonely as her life plays itself out. I have long determined that the best thing I could do was put an end to the existence of a being whose birth was unfortunate, and whose life has […]

Mary Shelley born in Somers Town, London

Shelley is born to William Godwin and Mary Wollstonecraft. Her mother is a leading feminist writer, and a source of inspiration. Mary’s learned father, who has frequent guests in their home all through her formative years, guarantees her education. A voracious reader, she borrows books from her father’s extensive library. She enjoys writing at a young age. It is not […]

Walt Whitman dies age 72

Whitman dies of tuberculosis. He is well cared for as he is dying, and has a nurse by the name of Warry with him when he dies. He doesn’t feel any pain anymore, and is ready to die. Warry, shift.

Walt Whitman born in West Hills, New York

Whitman is born to Lousia and Walter Whitman, a home builder. He is one of nine children, and has a fairly happy childhood. His family is however somewhat poor so he starts working at a young age. I had to support my family when I was young.

Dorothy Parker born in Long Branch, New Jersey

Parker is born to Jacob and Eliza Rothchild. She grows up on Manhattan’s Upper West Side. She has an unhappy childhood. Both her mother and step-mother die when she is young. She attends a Catholic grammar school, then a finishing school in Morristown, NJ. Her formal education abruptly ends when she is 14. All those writers who talk about […]

Charlie Chaplin born in Walworth, United Kingdom

Charles Spencer Chaplin is born into a poor London family of music hall entertainers, Hannah Chaplin and Charles Chaplin Sr. Even as a child he finds success as a performer. His father dies at age ten, and in the same time frame his mother falls ill. My childhood was sad, but now I remember it with […]

Charlie Chaplin dies age 86

Chaplin dies of natural causes in his sleep at his home in Corsiersur-Vevey, Switzerland. Before going to sleep, a priest prays: May the Lord have mercy on your soul Chaplin responded with his last words: Why not? After all, it belongs to him. His wife and seven of their children are at his bedside when he dies. Lady Chaplin: […]

Leo Tolstoy dies age 82

Tolstoy dies of pneumonia in his home, surrounded by family. As he dies, friends attempt to redeem Tolstoy’s soul by reconciling with the church and adopting their teachings for his end. He refuses them all, due to principles of pacifism and asceticism that reject the teachings of the Church. Even in the valley of the shadow of […]

Leo Tolstoy born in Yasnaya Polyana, Russia

Tolstoy is born to the wealthy Nikolai Ilyich Tolstoyand and Mariya Tolstaya. Tolstoy’s mother dies when he is two, and it leads to a struggling childhood. Tolstoy’s father dies when he is nine and he moves in with his aunt. He is good at games and has talent for sophisticated socialisation. We were brought up as regular gentlefolk back […]

Sigmund Freud dies age 83

Freud commits assisted suicide in his home during a Nazi air raid. He has been planning to do this for some time and has been waiting until he could no longer carry on. An overdoes of Morphine is administered by his physician Schur. My dear Schur, you remember our first talk. You promised to help […]

Sigmund Freud born in Příbor, Czech Republic

Freud is born to a textiles dealer, Jacob Freud and his second wife, Amalia Nathansohn. Freud enjoys unconditional love from his mother, and scornful hate from his father. When you were incontestably the favorite child of your mother, you keep during your lifetime this victor feeling, you keep feeling sure of success, which in reality seldom doesn’t […]

Pol Pot dies age 72

Pot dies from heart failure. He suffers illness as he flees from those who wish to turn him in to the US government, only to die of natural causes. His wife and daughter are with him as he dies. My only wish is that Cambodians stay united so that Vietnam will not swallow our country.

Pol Pot born in Prek Sbauv, Cambodia

Pot is born named Saloth Sar the second son of a successful landowner in Cambodia. Pot’s father has political connections at the royal court at the Cambodian capital. Visits by court officials and even by the Cambodian king himself to Pol Pot’s father’s home appear to be common. Pot is a poor student, yet he receives a good education and studies hard. Pot’s only […]

Adolf Hitler dies age 56

Hitler commits suicide in his Berlin bunker as his imminent defeat approaches. He consumes a cyanide capsule, then shoots himself with a pistol. He records a last testament for the world. Above all I enjoin the leaders of the nation and their followers to scrupulous observance of the laws of race, and to merciless resistance to […]

Adolf Hitler born in Braunau am Inn, Austria

Hitler is born to Alois and Klara Hitler in Austria. He is their fourth child, however the only one who survives. Throughout his early days, young Hitler’s mother fears losing him as well and lavishes much care and affection on him. His father is busy working most of the time as a customs official and also spends a […]

‘The whole world is poorer’

Queen Elizabeth II speaks on Churchill’s death to his wife. The whole world is the poorer by the loss of his many-sided genius while the survival of this country and the sister nations of the Commonwealth, in the face of the greatest danger that has ever threatened them, will be a perpetual memorial to his leadership, […]

Winston Churchill dies age 90

Churchill dies in his home in London, nine days after a stroke induced coma from which he never awakens. He is unhappy with his failing health. I’m so bored with it all.

Winston Churchill born in Blenheim Palace, Woodstock, UK

Churchill is born to Lord and Lady Churchill. He grows up with social status, privilege, and a keen sense of heritage, but little money. My nurse was my confidante. Mrs. Everest it was who looked after me and tended all my wants. It was to her that I poured out my many troubles…

Salvador Dali dies age 84

Dalí dies of heart failure in Figueres, Spain, after he is moved back there by his friends, family and supporters. He grows more and more obsessed with time and immortality as he dies. Where is my clock?

Salvador Dali born in Figueres, Spain

Salvador Dali is born to Salvador Dali Cusi, a prominent notary, and Felipa Domenech Ferres. His mother often encourages his eccentric side. Dali’s artistic talent is obvious from a young age, and both of his parents support it. His mother dies when he is sixteen. [My mother’s death] was the greatest blow I had experienced in my […]

Edgar Allan Poe dies age 40

Poe dies of mysterious circumstances in Baltimore, Maryland. It is unknown what causes his death, or even the circumstances surrounding it. As he dies, he suffers from fever and delirium. Lord help my poor soul!

Edgar Allan Poe born in Boston, Massachusetts

Edgar Poe is born to Eliza and David Poe, both professional actors. His parents die within days of each other of tuberculosis when he is three years old and he is split up from his sister Rosalie, and brother Henry, to be fostered by John and Frances Allan, successful tobacco merchants, who could not have their own children. […]

Albert Einstein dies age 76

Einstein dies in Princeton Hospital, having refused surgery for internal bleeding caused by the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm. I want to go when I want. It is tasteless to prolong life artificially. I have done my share, it is time to go. I will do it elegantly.

Albert Einstein born in Württemberg, Germany

Einstein is born the son of Jewish electrical engineer, Hermann Einstein and Pauline Einstein. Contrary to popular belief, Einstein excels in maths and science in his early schooling, and his mother encourages a love of music. He is uncomfortable with the principle of absolute obedience and the military drills that dominate the school’s atmosphere, leading to […]

Karl Marx dies age 64

Karl Marx dies in London of bronchitis, while sitting in his armchair. He is exiled from much of Europe, and greatly saddened by the recent loss of his daughter. He dies screaming at his maid, who asks him if he has any last words. Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!

Karl Marx born in Trier, Germany

Marx is born to Jewish lawyer Heinrich Marx and Henriette Marx in Germany. He is the third of nine children, however due to the death of his brother he is the oldest son by the time he begins schooling. He excels in his schooling, particularly enjoying literature and poetry. Marx’s close friend Friedrich Engels says […]

Thomas Edison born in Milan, Ohio

Edison is born to Samuel and Nancy Edison in Milan, Ohio. Edison performs poorly at school, and is only formally schooled for three months, after which his mother homeschools him. My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me; and I felt I had something to live for, someone I must […]

Thomas Edison dies age 84

Edison dies at age eighty four in New Jersey from Diabetes Mellitus. He dies in his home with his wife, having more patents in the United States than any other inventor of his time. In Edison’s last moments, his wife asks if he is suffering. No, just waiting. It’s very beautiful over there.

Nikola Tesla born in Smiljan, Croatia

Tesla is born and christened by a Serbian Orthodox priest. His parents are Đuka and Milutin Tesla and he has five siblings. Upon the night of his birth there is heavy lightning and the midwife remarks that He’ll be a child of the storm To which his mother replies: No, of light

Isaac Newton dies age 84

Newton dies of natural causes at age 84, and is buried with full honors in Westminster Abbey. As a celebrated natural philosopher, he is a new kind of national hero. I don’t know what I may seem to the world. But as to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and […]

Isaac Newton born in Woolsthorpe-by-Colsterworth, England

Newton is born in Wollsthorpe-by-Colsterworth to a farmer by the name of Isaac Newton Sr. and Hannah Ayscough. His father dies three months before his birth. When Newton is three, his mother remarries and goes to live with her new husband, the Reverend Smith, she leaves her son in the care of his maternal grandmother. […]

Deletes subreddits

Pao enrages the users of Reddit by deleting /r/fatpeoplehate, a major subreddit with over one hundred and fifty thousand users, as well as four smaller subreddits.  Pao says the act is to stop harassment: We want as little involvement as possible in managing these interactions but will be involved when needed to protect privacy and free expression, and to […]